9 Weeks and 2 Days (with pictures! *UPDATED!* Now with text!)

Sorry for the delay in the nine week update- despite the glut of digital cameras in the world, it proved to be rather tricky to get these photos taken and uploaded, and I wanted to have them for you to all enjoy this week. This was my first-day-of-school outfit this year so let's pretend that this is the last-first-day-of-school picture that I never had taken, shall we? And here you can see Galois's expanding home (aka my expanding midsection.) Now, why don't we all be very nice and pretend that
1) my stomach was completely flat and didn't look at all like this before pregnancy [yeah, right- I've only gained 2 lbs and if you had taken me to a Chinese buffet 3 months ago and photographed me immediately afterwards I am pretty sure the result would rival this.]
2) this picture is NOT comparable to the pictures of most women somewhere in the middle of the second trimester... la la la, I can't hear you...!

Ahem. Anyway, I am going to try to update with these external pictures of Galois every week or two since a) Certain Doting Grandparents are reading this website now and will have to accept these as poor substitutes for the weekly ultrasounds they'd rather see (did y'all know ultrasounds cost about $250? wow!?!) and b) I know the rest of you really couldn't be more thrilled than to see a never-ending series of photos of flab. Because honestly? The baby in there is only an inch big or so. The rest, as Chris Long would say (scientifically and rather delicately) is "adipose tissue."

Anyway, let's see, what else would you like updates on? I weighed 143.0 yesterday morning which is, yes, less than I did a week and a half ago- we all know weight fluctuates. But I'm happy because I think now it's unlikely I'll be one of those people that gains 15 lbs or something in the first trimester (not that there's anything wrong with that, people-who-gain-15-lbs-or-something-in-the-first-trimester!) It's just that starting out pregnancy borderline-overweight, I'd like to stay on target if possible, especially early on. ("Target," for those of you not reading pregnancy propaganda all the time, is 2-5 lbs first trimester and about a pound a week the rest of the pregnancy for a total of 25-35 lbs.) Okay, end of mild weight obsession.

My lack of morning sickness was going great (thanks to B6! my best [vitamin] friend!) until about Wednesday, when it mysteriously returned. I don't really know what happened, but I'm pretty sure there was a sequence of events that went something like:
1) feel sickness returning Wednesday, no apparent reason :-(
2) Decide on Thursday to order Pizza Pan Deep Dish Pizza for lunch. With bacon! [Because I am manifestly idiotic!]
3) Dinner Thursday night: Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream with Magic Shell. Yeah!
4) Friday: The sickness! Oh, the sickness! Why isn't the B6 working anymore?

Of course, maybe I should insert reason 0: Dinner Tuesday night: fried chicken! Or even reason 1/2: Utter lack of sleep Sunday/Monday/Tuesday nights during Homework Marathon. But you never know. This morning so far I feel better, despite yesterday eating, among other [more healthy] things, 1/2 piece of the leftover bacon pizza, a pudding cup, a handful of Nacho Cheese Doritos, a Maple Walnut Crunch ice cream cone, and a chocolate glazed donut. So I think the sickness was due to severe lack of sleep.

[Okay, okay, oh my goodness, rereading the last paragraph I realize that some of you out there have just gone into cardiac arrest just READING my food selections, and for that, I am so very sorry! No, my diet is not [quite] that bad ALL the time- at least, I don't think it is- I'm sorry! I'll try to do better! The vegetables! The vegetables for the baby! I know! I know! At the beginning of pregnancy I was eating better because I had to because my constipation and gas were so bad (TMI, sorry!) but now that I've been feeling better I've been less... hmmm... restrained? :-) I take my prenatal vitamins! Every day!]

*Sigh*

Moving on. Emotionally? I am happy about the baby. (I could just type that every week for the next 30 weeks probably.) Glad the ultrasound went well. Starting to think about nesting, I think. Although it's hard to Nest when your spouse is sort of a Migratory Bird who will need to Mirgrate right around the time the eggs are supposed to be hatching (okay maybe that analogy only goes so far...) But during Cryptography yesterday I made a List of Things we "Need" for the Baby (there's no point in taking notes in that class... it's Professor Algebra from last year, the jolly, non-linear one who gives lectures with content of Measure 0) and that made me happy.

In school news, as mentioned above there was a Homework Marathon from about last Sunday to Wednesday, and it was really cool because Jesus made the Homework Miracle for me in statistics! I showed up to school at 8:00 on Wednesday morning with 6 out of 13 HW problems done, and they were due at 1:00, and I had 3 hours of classes inbetween... so I was just going to do what I could and hope for the best. But Jesus made the magic and somehow, they ALL got done! Yay! :-) This weekend is a [FINISHING] Logic, Algebra, and Cryptography [which will be easy] weekend. (Logic is an incomplete from LAST semester, for those of you playing along at home.) Algebra is only 6 problems due Monday night, which is much better than the first two assignments. So there is hope. I need to cut Nate's hair and I really need to take the car for an oil change, but we'll see if those get done. Thursday this week I didn't get any work done, but I ran the dishwasher twice (which tells you something about the state of our kitchen!!) and took down our Christmas decorations (yay me! that's unusually early for me. ;-)). So progress is being made. Every semester of school I'm amazed how good God is to me in helping me get things done that look impossible.

I guess the other main thing on my mind right now is the conversations I've had with professors over the last few weeks, professors expressing disappointment that I'm not going to complete a PhD. I realize that with different values and worldviews and priorities in life, it might be impossible for me to make them understand why someone would invest two years in graduate study of mathematics and then retire. In their way of thinking, everyone who loves mathematics and has the ability to get a PhD should do so, and from the Math Department's point of view, every student that leaves without completing a PhD is one more lost opportunity to improve the department's status and ranking among universities. But even realizing that it might be impossible to make them understand, I feel compelled to try, to explain that there are things in life that motivate people other than money and prestige. And even though trying to communicate these things has been frustrating, it's been good for me to have some of these conversations, because it has made me think realistically about the future. Realistically, I know that I'm not really, at least in some sense, the "domestic" type. It seems like some people are really good at, and really interested in, things like cooking and cleaning and sewing, but I am not one of them. I don't get excited about trying out new recipes or household cleaners or laundry tips. A few episodes of craftiness have led to activities like making fabric covers for the vertical blinds in our living room, but on the whole, I certainly can't say that I find much fulfillment over the day-to-day parts of being a homemaker. I DO want to be with my baby as much as I can; but if I'm not earning an income I know I'll feel somewhat compelled to do things like clip coupons or shop at more than one store to get the best prices, activities that just seem tedious. Next year I'll probably feel more guilty than I do now about not having the laundry or the dishes done. All I know is that I'll need something else going on in my life- something that uses my mind, even if it's a little thing. Sometimes I think about the freedom of having options of what to be learning about other than math and I get excited. Not chained to the millstone of homework, I could actually go to the library and check out a book about Renaissance art or Frank Lloyd Wright or ancient Peruvian culture. I could finally get a chance to learn about the connections between music theory and mathematics, or find some tapes and study Spanish or French. I could study theology and sink my mind (and my heart) deeper into the Word of God. But the freedom and the array of options is scary to me, too. What if the lack of external direction incapacitates me from choosing anything at all? What if I end up surfing the internet and watching TV with the baby all day (every day?!?) In one way I've never really been out of school (between UIC and Lehigh I was studying for the Math GRE which was basically like being homeschooled again), and on breaks from school I tend to be pretty directionless. I know that I will need some structure in my life next year- certainly not having every minute of every day scheduled (which I'm pretty sure is impossible with a baby anyway), but just having some kind of activity in my life other than taking care of the baby and our home. Something I guess I need to pray about. But even though I have no idea what it will be like to be at home with a baby all the time, I'm really looking forward to the possibilities. :-)

Thanks for reading.

Love, Neb