Sympathy Glutton

Good morning, beloved and most blessed of readers!

Here are the things I want to tell you about today.

1) (Dramatic drumroll, please): I AM SICK! I have The Sickness! Thursday afternoon at 3:29 pm I was all "La la la, life as usual" and at 3:30 I was all "Hmmm, I feel a little funny, I will lie down on the sofa with the baby" and by 3:35 I was all like "I have THE FEVER! I am SICK!" and by the time Adrienne came home, I was shivering hard and went into the bathroom and sat on the floor and announced with great theatrics, "I might pass out!" [I didn't, of course. I really did feel like I might, though.]

So, I just have the fever and the body aches, no snifflies or coughs or tummy trouble. To me, sudden onset + fever + body aches can only mean one thing: FLU! I have FLU! However, this point is not universally acknowledged. The past 36 hours in our home have witnessed many conversations like this:

Neb: [With great drama; fishing for sympathy] I HAVE THE INFLUENZAE.
Nate: No you don't! Also, it's influenza, not "influenzae." Influenzae is plural. You would only have "influenzae" if you had multiple stains.
Neb: Oh. Right. I have influenzA.
Nate: No you don't. Influenza is a RESPIRATORY illness. You don't have any respiratory symptoms.
Neb [triumphantly]: But these are EXACTLY the same symptoms I had that one time at Wheaton, when I went to the Health Center and they said YOU HAVE FLU and gave me the anti-flu medicine and I got BETTER quickly.
Nate: Yeah, well once I went to the Health Center at Wheaton and they said "you have 'flu'" and then they gave me Amoxicillian.
Neb: Oh.
Nate:The "anti-flu" medicine they gave you was really just anti-viral, in general.

(later)

Neb: GOOGLE FLU! SEE WHAT IT SAYS!! (Still convinced that SUDDEN ONSET and BODY ACHES are sure, undeniable signs.)
Nate: Hmmm. Well, here on Wikipeida it says that 98% of people with flu [we realized later it was only type A, but still] have a COUGH.
Neb: Oh.

(later again)

Neb: I am PROBABLY DYING.
Nate: Honey, you don't even have a fever.
Neb: I DO TOO have a fever. [The digital thermometer the hospital gave us when M. was born had just shown 98.4] It is NOT MY FAULT that the thermometer is defective!! Also, my mouth is probably not designed right to take a temperature. Or something.
Nate: [Sigh]

(later I took it again and it was 100.8, nothing too impressive, but still, I was somewhat vindicated.)

(later again)
Neb: I want SYMPATHY! You are showing no SYMPATHY!
Nate: I don't understand the concept of "sympathy." When I'm sick I want something to actually make it BETTER, if possible, but not just words like "I'm sorry" that aren't going to do anything.
Neb: Well, maybe you could LEARN to show sympathy. Google "spouse illness sympathy"
Nate: [Sigh] Okay...

(later again)
Nate: [speaking as if in a foreign language] "I'M SO SOR-RY YOU'RE NOT FEEL-ING WELL, HONEY. CAN I GET YOU AN-Y-THING?"
Neb [beaming]: No. But thanks for asking.

Conclusion: I am the World's Worst Sick Person.

2) My husband! Might get a job after all! A nice government organization (that I will not actually link to) has informed him that he has made The First Cut! That means, probably, a nice scientist friend will call him up in a few weeks and say, "Come, be my Science Friend in my lab! Do the scienc-y things with me! And our generous Uncle Sam will pay you lots of money, for the baby! And your wife!" It would be a Real Grown-up Job! With a salary! And vacation! And benefits! And they would even pay MOVING expenses! And it's near my parents! :-) So this is Very Exciting. Thanks to all of you who have been praying for us.

Okay, maybe that is all I want to tell you right now. Because I want to go sit on the balcony and read Perelandra before it gets dark.

Love, Neb