Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Of course it wasn't really as bad as all that...

It never is, is it? Sometimes my attitude needs adjusting. Everything worked out just fine.
Professor Algebra was fine with me taking the test late. I took it Monday. We had our car towed away last Friday and I picked it up Wednesday, with a rebuilt transmission. It seems to be running very happily now.

God is good, all the time, and always provides. The Nice Transmission Man said, "You guys were really lucky because the (fill in the name of car part) was broken and it could have (fill in complicated description of Extremely Expensive Problem), but it didn't happen."

I just finished my last final tonight and one of my first thoughts was, "Must write in blog!!" The past several days have been hectic, trying to finish everything up and prepare for the exams. Tuesday afternoon was a little rough; I spent over 4 hours on one tiny part of a single algebra problem. Everyone else in my class (that I talked to) just gave up on it, but once I started it I HAD. TO. SOLVE. IT. And eventually, with God's help, I did. Objectively it (probably) wasn't truly a hard problem, but for me it was hard, so, it was hard. If everything in mathematics were simple I guess we wouldn't bother with it.

Both Baby Analysis and Probability finals were easy, MUCH easier than I thought they might be, which is yet another living example of Grace in my life. I started studying for Prob. around 9 this morning and really felt terrible with a sniffly head cold and fever- I really couldn't think straight at all- and I basically thought all day, "Well, I'm going to bomb this final, but at least I've done well on all the homeworks and previous tests so my final grade should still be decent." The list of things Prof. Probability gave us to review for the final was extensive and included a lot of difficult topics, and he likes to challenge us I think. But I guess he realized it's Nice to write the final as a survey of basic, important material instead of a last chance to really stump us with some tricky stuff (which happened a bit on the three previous tests.) That was really a great class- I learned a TON- and it was challenging, but doable. I'm taking a class Prof. Probability is teaching next semester, just because he's teaching it- he's good and clear and fair and organized and he sets High Standards, which is what's really important.

Anyway, enough yammering about school. I am DONE until the day after Christmas (when I start studying for Comprehensive Exam on Jan. 13th.) Woo-hoo! Bethany and Eric are coming to visit us tomorrow evening. It is SUCH a treat to get to think about things like finishing decorating the Christmas tree, finishing up shopping, cleaning house, getting groceries... I might even WATCH A DVD tonight or other normal (=non-grad-school) person activities!!

One of my favorite Bible verses is Job 1:21: "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." I am so amazed that God gives me such peace through everything, when I just ask. It's easy for me to get worked up over stuff and worry when I shouldn't. And now that I've reached the ripe old age of 26 I wonder, when will I learn to not overreact and worry? When will I learn that final exams probably won't be as bad as I think they will and things will turn out better than I hoped? They always seem to. But it helps me so much to think, Yes, I can give glory to God whether or NOT I do well in my classes and whether or NOT the car is broken and whether or NOT things work exactly like I think they will. There is so much grace in my life that I can't believe it, and my life has been SO good up until this point that I always think I might be due for a tragedy, great or small. But part of growing up a little bit as a Christian has been the realization that I can stand before God with my hands open and say, "Your will, not mine, Lord. I am not afraid of whatever you send me, good or bad, because You are with me always. And I will praise Your Name."

It is the most liberating secret in the world.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Awesome blog! Good message to remember...