Friday, November 21, 2008

Because you all deserve a random blog post! You know you do!!

So, my husband has this thing about Cutting Straight Lines in Baked Goods. He used to freak out if I cut a round cake in such a way that the Center Point was not really in the geographic center. So last night, I made some chocolate chip cookie bars (half recipe) in a round cake pan... and when they were done, I carved out [a few...] small wedge-shaped pieces for myself, without any particular pattern or plan. [I prefer to have Several "Small" Pieces of dessert as opposed to one big one. This is a kinder, gentler, less embarrassing way of saying Several Servings of Dessert instead of One.] So this morning, when I got up and approached the cookie bars again at breakfast time*, I was greeted by THIS:

*What? Don't you eat last night's dessert for breakfast? Come on...

Oddly enough, I didn't realize that this was meant to be the silhouette of two duck heads until my dear spouse informed me later- I analysed it from a purely mathematical perspective and noted the impressive interior extraction. Very unusual, huh?

And while we're at it, I might as well tackle a little topic I've been thinking about posting for awhile...

*Quirky Things About My Husband!!*

1) He does not drink beverages during meals, unless we're at a restaurant.
2) He does not use a knife to cut his meat. He soldiers on bravely with just a fork, no matter what! I have no idea how he accomplishes this (although in rare instances I think perhaps touching the meat with his fingers may be necessary... Shh, don't tell Emily Post.)
3) Though he stoutly denies the charge of "picky eater," he will not eat: peanut butter; spaghetti (other shapes of pasta are not his favorite, either, but he will eat them as long as they're not overcooked and not served too often...); eggs (unless prepared as an omelette with so much sausage/ other ingredients that the Egg Flavor is basically obliterated); toast; fresh fruit (he doesn't dislike it- just doesn't eat it on a regular basis); "damp bread" (ie, any sandwich with ingredients that moisten the bread inappropriately; can also happen in casseroles with some kind of breading layer, dishes that are generally too "soft" or "mushy" or "soggy"). He also protests ground beef dishes in any form, though we eat them, because, you know, ground beef is Cheap. He does not butter his dinner rolls.
4) To make up for these basic foods he won't touch, Nate has a tendency to chew on, chew up, and at times Swallow non-edible objects including but not limited to: toothpicks; chalk; paper (once he ate an entire church bulletin?); twisty ties; plastic straws and coffee stirrers; lollipop sticks; finger and toenail clippings; and a few other things that he mentioned when I asked him "Remind me, what else do you eat...?" but I won't include them here because they're kind of... disturbing.
5) He doesn't play board games.
6) He wears his glasses in the shower.
7) He hates to talk on the phone to anyone outside his immediate family.
8) He picks up random things on the street- bottle caps, broken watches, electronic parts, corks, and various Unidentified Objects- and likes to Save them in places where I can't find them. [He also likes to hide his "Special Nate Things" on the top of the tall bookshelf, where I can't really see them...]
9) He reports feeling Stressed in a very clean environment, and Relaxed and Happy in a den of clutter. [This would be fine except that I tend to feel Stressed in a cluttered environment, and Happy when things are neat and tidy...?]
10) He hates the sound of the vacuum, the toaster, and the electric mixer, and will go to hide in another room until they're over.
11) He only brushes his teeth... uh... "a few times a week" might be an exaggeration. A few times a month? "Whenever he feels like it" he says. However, he has had fewer cavities in his life than me, so I can't exactly complain... Also? his toothbrush flashes (it's for kids) for 90 seconds or something, to help him know how long to brush.
12) He plays with silly putty at work.
13) He will not permit me to be in the bathroom when he is using it. Ever. There has never been an exception to this in our 7+ years of marriage.
14) He is colorblind.
15) He has size 12EEEEE or 13EEEE shoes. These are very hard to find in stores. For this reason, he basically wears sneakers all the time, mostly New Balance.
16) He had meningitis and pneumonia as a kid- but never chicken pox.
17) He doesn't wear sweaters or sweatshirts because he tends to be Very Hot most of the time (and I think he's Very Hott...) ;-)
18) He does not own a suit. I've never seen him in a suit (although he rented a tux for our wedding, and got a black tux for choir (VERY HOTT!!)) He wore shorts to his doctoral defense.
19) He always wants to pop my pimples. And I don't let him, because it HURTS!! But that doesn't stop him from asking about 10,000 times per zit (which are thankfully fairly rare for me by now...)

There's more, but I might as well end on a prime number and get this published.
Love to all!!
Neb

3 comments:

pinkmist77 said...

That's my cousin. I Learned many of things about him, when were just mere boys. I'm glad you love him anyway!! I do! :-)

-Ray Rhoads

Pastor Jorn said...

Neb, that was a great blog! I enjoyed it very much. Can't wait to read the next one.
If you've never seen the movie Gladiator There is a quote in there I think about sometimes.
"Are you entertained?"
Oh yes I am. The Nebulizing Blog has done it for me.

Anonymous said...

Honey, you left out a few things about some of those...

1) At the restaurant, I only drink before and after I eat and between courses.

2) I will use a knife away from home if I am given one. I won't ask.

3) I don't eat asparagus or lima beans either.

4) I did indeed eat a whole church bulletin.

5) Or card games or just about any games.

6) Because I can only focus about two inches from my eyes.

7) There are one or two exceptions.

8) Not much, though.

9) There is a balance point. If I'm with people who are stressed by clutter, their stress eventually overtakes the relaxation of the clutter.

10) If you want to hear me curse just tell me how great those gas powered leaf blowers are.

11) I like my Blinky :)

12) Since I'm technically a polymer scientist at the moment, my toy choice can be considered professional development.

13) And it will stay that way.

14) I have two different types of colorblindness. One is red cones replaced with rods. The other is this thing where a narrow region of the green part of the rainbow (very close to green traffic lights) looks white. In a dark place I can see deeper into the near infrared than most people.

15) I've owned one pair of Nikes in my life, and I cried with happiness when I bought them. When I was kid it was so bad that I wore women's running shoes once because they were the only thing that could be found to fit me.

16) Those were separated by about 12 years.

17) For example, this week when it was snowing the only reason I put on a shell over my fleece was to keep dry. 25 degrees with light wind is gloves and earmuffs weather, but not hat and coat weather. And I have a built-in sweater. (The rumor is that I'm part Yeti.) Winter is my favorite time of year. I'm not miserable while everyone else is happy, like in summer, and even though my comfort gets swamped with the griping and moaning of the masses there is a little bit of Schadenfreude to be found when people refuse to learn how to stay warm and then get cold.

18) Note above that even in the dead of winter I usually am not wearing as much insulation as the lightest suits. I'd rather be moist and wearing the wrong thing than dressed properly but so sweaty I'm revolting.

19) My skin must just be rather tough.

Looking over that, I think you forgot the part about how I sing a lot, how I'm a squirrelly introvert who always seems to know more people than anyone else, how I can't eat much chocolate or any caffeine, and much, much more....